genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

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littleshrekthings:

imagine a high-powered business CEO, at an important company meeting. the meeting is almost over, and the CEO had spoken for too long. he lifts the cuff of his suit to reveal the SHREK® WATCH. “oh, sorry everyone, i’ve gone ogretime. let’s meet again tomorrow morning— i’m making waffles.” he leaves the room and punctuates his exit with a small, dignified fart. the entire conference room nods in begrudging admiration.
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meladoodle:

*gives gf $1* go on babe, treat yourself

2,914 notes

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terrra-nostra:

This makes me so sad
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why can’t we go back
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pandaburrrh:

facebook never ceases to amaze me 

richarcl:

the bags under my eyes are as dark as my soul

539 notes

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blackthorngym:

All the Pokémon starters (including Pikachu & Eevee) made in Paint :)

sunshineface0014:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem

You can’t even see your problem

52,218 notes

cybercum:

dumbfuckery:

I stole this kid’s neopets account and when I checked my email I find this
image

either this is fake or you’re a dick

70,316 notes